My GTA 5 install has a death wish but I have soothed it with flossing

Los Santos Customs

I'm modding GTA 5 every day in a quest to either transform it into a PC version of GTA 6 or break it entirely. Come back tomorrow to find out what new horrible thing I've done to Rockstar's baby, or check out what I got up to earlier.

There is an anxiety to my movements now. The stench of death lingers about Grand Theft Auto 5 like petrichor after hard, hot rain, and I am nervous that any addition will finally nudge it over the edge.

As we've previously established, the game now only launches properly in windowed mode, and once it churns through all the modifications I have burdened it with, it deposits me in an empty void where Franklin Clinton's house used to be, sending him tumbling through the abyss. Every time I load GTA 5, Franklin screams.

Anyway, I added a new mod. It's called Fortnite Floss Dance [OIV] and it adds "Smooth looping Floss dance, same speed as Fortnite." Convenience is its philosophy: whenever you begin flossing, music will play automatically, so you don't look weird. Don't like the music? Its volume is controlled by a slider. Also, the entire UI is in Arabic, which I did not expect when I downloaded it but which adds something indefinable that I like a lot.

What to say? Franklin flosses now. He flosses indiscriminately, indefatigably. Nothing can deter him. The ongoing chaos of a semi-deleted Los Santos does not faze him. His endlessly perishing and replenishing bodyguards do not concern him. Smash him with a car and he will only right himself and keep going. There is only him, the music, and a command in a language I do not speak but which I must assume reads 'Begin flossing'.

Videogames are so cool.

Grand Theft Auto 6

GTA 6 guide: Everything we know
GTA 6 cars: The garage lineup
GTA 6 characters: Your anti-hero cast
GTA 6 map: Confirmed Vice City locales
GTA 6 PC release: When's it going to happen?